Blonde Blog 5 -

Gal Pals Meet Jude Law! (Handsome Young Blonde Actor who played in Cold Mountain)

I have the pleasure of going to Girl's Night Out with some of my favorite gals that I have known since elementary. A few of us have reunited after 30 years and have been having good conversation, lots of laughter, good food and yes even good drink! Oh how my gal pals love those margaritas! I love the taste of a good margarita myself! That is I guess I do I can't make it past my five sips. Ok...I admit...3 sips!

It was last December when the GNO decided to meet at Cantina Laredo for our Christmas Swap. We had been frequenting there somewhat on Thursday nights because it was the official Ladies Night and you could get those killer margs for 1/2 price. I knew the GM so we could swing some free dips and chips if we would stroke the guy's eggo a little. Although...it was pretty high already so we didn't go to far with it. You know those types...Men with eggo's...need I say more.

This particular Thursday was very packed due to the Christmas crowds so we had to cram in this booth in the bar area. If I remember there were about eight of us that night. I get squished in the back of the booth but facing the door where I could watch people coming in and out of the restaurant. Talking about hot flashes....imagine eight women crammed into one booth at the prime pre-meno - meno and post meno stage?

Waiter comes up and we get our margaritas. The fun begins....we start swapping gifts..laughing...more laughing...I got my five sips in and out of the corner of my eye I spotted Jude Law. Oh how I loved that sexy man in the movie Cold Mountain. There he was coming right past me in Cantina Laredo....OMG!!!!

About that time I had to go to the bathroom (that's what happens after five sips of a margarita) My side of the gal pals had to climb out of the booth to let me out. I was on a mission.....I would go to the bathroom then circle around the room find Jude Law and then go get my gal pals to come and take the picture. It worked! I circled around spotted my Jude Law. I was so happy I found Jude Law and I was going to surprise the gals. I headed back towards our table excited....hollered at them............LOOK...LOOK... Come see Jude Law is sitting right behind us at this large table. We need to get his picture! My gals all turned that way.... Suddenly their excitement toned down a little.

I still don't understand why they can't see the resemblance?

Blonde Blog 4 - The Great Copperhead Snake Race

Flip Flop update....
Boss' BFF came in and happen to have on a pair a flip flops. I took the opportunity to ask him did Boss wear Flip Flops and he said yep he sure does. I had the answer to my question ...he likes Soap Opera's.

The Great Snake Race...

After I had my first surgery and had been out for a few months from my famous leg break at the office our resident Red Head decided that I needed a little more excitement. Keep in mind... I was still in a leg brace and was pretty much hopping around on one foot.

Red's son comes to the office to bring her a box of candy and roses. He brought up the roses and the candy and they visited for a bit. After the visit he came and found me and said give him a few minutes that he wanted to surprise his mom with something else down at the car. I said okay I could take care of it and get her down to the car for him. Of course....I was curious of her surprise. BIG MISTAKE on my part.

I go to Red's office and ask her to come with me outside that I needed to show her something. Here we go.....Red's son directed us over to his car and there he was with her surprise. He said look down on the ground. Imagine this... he had a copperhead snake that he had found (right a death) wrapped around the 12th rose from the dozen he had brought up to her. Red immediately picks up this half dead snake and proceed to come at me with it. Holy Crap!

I started hopping on one leg so fast that I would have one the prize at the county fair. I am screaming my head off as she is chasing me around the parking lot. I finally pin myself on the other side of a large truck parked next to a tree. Here I am screaming my head off and she is on the other side with this ranking smelly snake. Yet another time that screaming doesn't get you anywhere! Why don't people come when one screams? I mean seriously there might just be something wrong................a blonde in distress!

Red finally lets me out of my misery and I hop upstairs straight into Boss' office. I am out of breath - red faced - barely breathing and he looks at me like I just got out of that Bridgeway he tried to send me to on my ambulance ride. I begin to tell him my despair and he said sure she did. WHAT? he didn't believe me? Boss said what kind of son would wrap a snake around his mother rose? I said a red heads crazy a*** son. That's what! Sure he said with this glarring look at me.

What he didn't know is that Red decided to take this ranking dead snake and wrap it around the door handle of his jaguar parked in the dark garage. When Boss headed out to open up his car door .....He got the surprise of his life. Hmmm....I bet next time he learns to listen to the Blonde after all!

to be continued....

Blonde Blog 3

Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting.....

When I was in my early to mid 30's I was putting in computer systems for a gent who owned several gas stations and truck stops in various small towns in Arkansas and Missouri.

A good friend of mine also worked for the gent and she would go with me to the various stores to put in the systems. The gentlemen (we will call him Mr. Jones) owned his own private planes, therefore, he would fly us to these towns to put in the systems.

Kung Fu Fighting begins...

We were in the small town of Paragould Arkansas to put in one of the systems when my friend and Mr. Jones' son decided to go shoot a little pool in this little honky tonk of a place called Roy's. Now...keep in mind that I can't hold liquor whatsoever. Not that I am (or have ever been) an alcoholic I just simply can't hold the stuff. About five sips is my limit before I decide I want to do some dancing, singing, and yes...a little kung fu fighting.

My friend says to me..... I'll fix you a Zima with a little lime...It isn't really liquor so you can have that.. Me, being the blonde that I am, drinks the little bottle of stuff and my roller coaster ride began. The whole place starts to get really loud and spins around like one of those table top spinner dilly's. I was ready to play myself a mean game of pool! I was feeling like I was on top of something....not sure exactly what..but something..

I am in the middle of my best game when all of a sudden this jerk comes up and decides he wants to hit on us. Hit was an understatement... I was so annoyed that I took of running and decided to give him my special kung fu drop kick. About the time I got my leg half way up I come tumbling down and fell flat on my face on the concrete floor. Mr. Jones' son picks me up sits me in this taller than my whole body bar stool and....well you ... guessed right.... I fell flat on my face again out of the stool tumbling down like humpty dumpty. I figured it out that night that Humpty Dumpty really didn't sit on a wall...He was on a bar stool in a honky tonk.

I felt this throbbing going on like no other so I decided I needed to go back to the motel across the street from the honky tonk. Somehow I managed to walk across the double highway back to my room. I guess the blonde hair put off a glow in the dark effect so that kept cars from hitting me.

All of a sudden (I think sudden meant about two hours to them ) I hear this BANG...BANG..BANG...at the door. I managed to get to the door and open it up when screaming began....My friend and Mr. Jones' son said OMG you look like Jay Leno! They laid me back down and made me promise that I wouldn't tell Mr. Jones what happened. I would cover my face so when Mr. Jones had to come back for us he wouldn't know anything of what happened the night before. Their secret would be safe.

Mr. Jones flies in to pick us up and here we go on the plane.. UP ..UP and AWAY.....Keep in mind that I am pretending I have this terrible cough and have to keep my hand over my face so no one would catch it. We were thrown a curb ball when a storm came in and we had to route to Kansas City to wait out the storm. Here we go... (my hand still over my face) headed to get a coke in the breakroom. Suddenly.. a quarter falls out of Mr Jones pocket. I reflexed ...went down to grab the coin.....we were caught....Mr. Jones himself thought he saw the host of the night show that night.

I started sobbing and told him I fell in the bathtub trying to take a bubble bath and I was just to embarrassed to say. He bought it...hook..line and sinker... Their secret was safe! The blonde pulled it off.


The Ugly Truth................a broken chin. I kept the Jay Leno look for awhile. I gave up kung fu that day.





to be continued...

Blonde Blog 2

Days of our Lives...

From the moment was a little bitty blonde I remember watching Days of Our Lives with my mother. The whole world stopped at 12:30 for that 30 minutes that show was on. Yes..back in the day the Soaps were generally only 30 minutes long. To this day..my family has this deep family connections of the great Salem residences. I remember all the guys that I dated had to watch it and now even now I catch my husband sneaking a peek of what is going on with Samantha and EJ. How awesome that there is an EJ (Elvis) on that show. That is another condition of mine...if you are in my house you better love Elvis.

Soaps make you somehow fantasize that is how life should be.......full of romance and glamour. Throw in a little gun shot every now and then just to spark things up. Seriously... every one in the town has pretty much slept with each other. I mean could you imagine trading spouses like a pair of flip flops? I think I had an aunt that was married seven times. WOW...I just now came to the conclusion she probably thought it was a norm since she was addicted to Days of Our Lives. Wait! she wore flip flops as well. A double whammy! I think I am safe since I don't wear flip flops. I'll tell spouse ...maybe that will be a relief to him just a little. I guess I'll know if he buys me a pair of flip flops for Christmas how he really feels.

Speaking of shoes...

Boss walks into the office a few months ago and asked everyone to let him see their feet...Seriously! He carefully inspected all of our feet and a big relief came on his face. Of course....I had to ask where he was going with this. Boss stated......."Anyone who wears Berkenstock's is a Democrat" ...he continues....."I don't want to see any Berkenstock's in this office! WOW...did he not know that I pretty much was a democrat and that I sure didn't wear Berkenstocks? I informed him real quick that I begged to differ. Not that I told him I leaned toward the Democratic party...but that my daughter practically lived in Berkenstock's and she was about as Republican as you can get. She gets that from her father! He decided to retract a little and stated that anyone who lived in the Heights and wore Berkenstock's was a Democrat. Hmm... I think he was seeing people......but I wouldn't call them Democrat's....well maybe...... You figure it out.

I think I'll go ask him tomorrow does he wear flip flops? If he does...I know he is deep down addicted to my favorite show..........Likes sands through the hour glass.....So are the Days of Our Lives!

to be continued......