Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting.....
When I was in my early to mid 30's I was putting in computer systems for a gent who owned several gas stations and truck stops in various small towns in Arkansas and Missouri.
A good friend of mine also worked for the gent and she would go with me to the various stores to put in the systems. The gentlemen (we will call him Mr. Jones) owned his own private planes, therefore, he would fly us to these towns to put in the systems.
Kung Fu Fighting begins...
We were in the small town of Paragould Arkansas to put in one of the systems when my friend and Mr. Jones' son decided to go shoot a little pool in this little honky tonk of a place called Roy's. Now...keep in mind that I can't hold liquor whatsoever. Not that I am (or have ever been) an alcoholic I just simply can't hold the stuff. About five sips is my limit before I decide I want to do some dancing, singing, and yes...a little kung fu fighting.
My friend says to me..... I'll fix you a Zima with a little lime...It isn't really liquor so you can have that.. Me, being the blonde that I am, drinks the little bottle of stuff and my roller coaster ride began. The whole place starts to get really loud and spins around like one of those table top spinner dilly's. I was ready to play myself a mean game of pool! I was feeling like I was on top of something....not sure exactly what..but something..
I am in the middle of my best game when all of a sudden this jerk comes up and decides he wants to hit on us. Hit was an understatement... I was so annoyed that I took of running and decided to give him my special kung fu drop kick. About the time I got my leg half way up I come tumbling down and fell flat on my face on the concrete floor. Mr. Jones' son picks me up sits me in this taller than my whole body bar stool and....well you ... guessed right.... I fell flat on my face again out of the stool tumbling down like humpty dumpty. I figured it out that night that Humpty Dumpty really didn't sit on a wall...He was on a bar stool in a honky tonk.
I felt this throbbing going on like no other so I decided I needed to go back to the motel across the street from the honky tonk. Somehow I managed to walk across the double highway back to my room. I guess the blonde hair put off a glow in the dark effect so that kept cars from hitting me.
All of a sudden (I think sudden meant about two hours to them ) I hear this BANG...BANG..BANG...at the door. I managed to get to the door and open it up when screaming began....My friend and Mr. Jones' son said OMG you look like Jay Leno! They laid me back down and made me promise that I wouldn't tell Mr. Jones what happened. I would cover my face so when Mr. Jones had to come back for us he wouldn't know anything of what happened the night before. Their secret would be safe.
Mr. Jones flies in to pick us up and here we go on the plane.. UP ..UP and AWAY.....Keep in mind that I am pretending I have this terrible cough and have to keep my hand over my face so no one would catch it. We were thrown a curb ball when a storm came in and we had to route to Kansas City to wait out the storm. Here we go... (my hand still over my face) headed to get a coke in the breakroom. Suddenly.. a quarter falls out of Mr Jones pocket. I reflexed ...went down to grab the coin.....we were caught....Mr. Jones himself thought he saw the host of the night show that night.
I started sobbing and told him I fell in the bathtub trying to take a bubble bath and I was just to embarrassed to say. He bought it...hook..line and sinker... Their secret was safe! The blonde pulled it off.
The Ugly Truth................a broken chin. I kept the Jay Leno look for awhile. I gave up kung fu that day.
to be continued...
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